- Allentown Fair held its annual grape-stomping contest Sunday, pitting politicians against members of the media in the Lehigh Valley
- Each bucket contains 50 pounds of grapes, and a nozzle with a pitcher
- The media team (just barely) lost, with the 'movers and shakers' taking home first-place ribbons
ALLENTOWN, Pa. — The Great Allentown Fair on Sunday pitted members of the media against public officials in a good, old-fashioned grape-stomping contest.
The competition was more scientific than one might expect — two buckets of grapes, holding 50 pounds of red seedless grapes each, and one minute per team member to stomp down mercilessly, producing as much grape juice as possible.
The juice then flowed through a wire mesh filter in the front of the bucket, and through a nozzle that emptied into a plastic pitcher.
The theme of the grape stomping contest was "media vs. movers and shakers," with members of radio stations and news outlets (including myself and Olivia Marble from LehighValleyNews.com) against politicians and public-facing people, such as Allentown Mayor Matt Tuerk and Lehigh County Executive Phillips J. Armstrong).
Each team was assigned a coach (who did pep-talk and cheering), and a "handler" who was responsible for collecting the grape juice in the pitchers.
The job of handler was more exhausting than one might expect, too. One issue they faced (besides getting covered in grapes and being next to feet for an hour) was the pulp getting stuck in the tap.
The media team's handler was Mandy Schnell, who works for iHeartMedia radio. She described it like this:
"I get to deal with all the gross grape juice... foot grape juice that comes out into the jar," Schnell said. "Yeah. I'm the one that has to keep telling you guys to stomp so that we get more juice than the movers and shakers."
'Romance the grape industry'
The person who ran the grape-stomping contest was Fair President and CEO Beth Gruber, through her role with the Lehigh County Agricultural Society.
Eight years ago, Gruber was instrumental in starting the grape stomping contest. She said it originally served as a way to promote local grapes.
"We have so many grapes being grown in the Lehigh Valley that we really felt that we needed to do something to romance the grape industry," Gruber said. "And so that's when we started here."
When asked why it puts on such a good show, Gruber said it comes with a feeling of nostalgia.
"It's just it's the 'I Love Lucy' era back again," she said. "That's where we got the idea, and it's lots of fun."
Gruber said she hasn't had any notable incidents, such as falls, in her career overseeing the grape stomping contest — but always warns people they're going to get grapes all over them.
"And one lady told me she had to even throw away her tennis shoes because they were so messed up," Gruber said with a laugh.
Trash talk
Perhaps the participant who did the most trash talking, besides yours truly, was Lehigh County's Armstrong.
In what started as a compliment, he told me I would be great in the competition because I have a few extra pounds on me.
Armstrong said his record is 4-1, only losing one year — which he attributed to an (alleged) issue with the bucket.
I responded by suggesting that perhaps he was the issue. He then pulled over a judge and asked him to perform a test on me to check for performance-enhancing drugs.
Tuerk also indulged in trash talk, insulting the photography skills of LehighValleyNews.com reporters. He said we were very good at taking unflattering photos of him.
I responded that he makes it easy.
Let the stomping begin
The contest master of ceremonies, Ayla Blatt, introduced the competitors one-by-one. The audience cheered for all, while the two teams booed for their respective opposition, while applauding themselves.
The most vocal of the boo-ers was Armstrong, who not only booed, but gave a double-handed thumbs down for most of our team as they were announced.
When Blatt announced Armstrong's name, I threw a grape at him and missed by about a yard. The next grape I threw hit him in the cheek.
The stomping took place in timed one-minute intervals, and involved quite a lot of cardio.
I made the mistake of fully exerting myself in the first 40 seconds, leaving 20 seconds of lackluster stomping.
To make things more difficult, Armstrong came up behind me and put a soggy, squished grape down the back of my shirt. (Interference, I argued, unsuccessfully.)
About 50 people watched, cheering and clapping along to the Italian-sounding music. The coaches of each team pepped up their competitors by shouting phrases such as "You can do it!" and "Keep going!"
The handlers multi-tasked, with one holding the pitcher steady, and another swishing around squished grapes in the bucket, trying to maximize the flow of grape juice while not getting stomped on.
At the end of the competition, a serious-looking judge stood in front of the stage, presumably watching for any foul play. He had a small wooden measuring stick ready to go, which looked like it had been used before; it had pen marks all throughout the length of it.
In the end, the so-called "movers and shakers" beat us by a (tiny, miniscule, insignificant, unimpressive) 2 1/2 inches of grape juice.
They were mostly humble winners, and graciously accepted their ribbons.
When it came time to clean up (grape juice and bugs were everywhere) the fair had a designated place, in a large janitorial closet, with buckets of water, soap and towels for participants to wash off their feet.
Washing up, the contestants socialized and the trash-talking eased.
Armstrong shook our hands, and said we put up "one heck of a fight."
I told him I'd see him next year.
