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Lehigh County coroner declares Kansas City Chiefs dead (For real)

Super Bowl.jpg
Chris Szagola and Doug Benc
/
AP Photo
Eagles quarterback Jalen Hurts (left) and Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes (right).

ALLENTOWN, Pa. — Who's going to win the Super Bowl this Sunday? If you read the latest Lehigh County Coroner's report, it's a dead giveaway.

"The Kansas City Chiefs will be crushed and laid to rest on Sunday, February 12, 2023 at State Farm Stadium, Glendale Arizona," Dan Buglio wrote.

"Pronouncement will be completed by the Philadelphia Eagles upon completion of the Super Bowl! Go Eagles!"

There are 11 starting players who will be on the field for the Chiefs on Sunday. None of them will be spared, according to Buglio.

Of the rest of the 46 members of the team who will be dressed and active on game day, there aren't plans to spare them either.

Coroner's Report, For Immediate Release
Dan Buglio
/
Lehigh County Coroner's Office and Forensics Center
The Lehigh County coroner's official report Friday pronounced the Kansas City Chiefs dead in his report on Friday.

What to do with the seven players on the practice squad was briefly discussed, but a decision was made not to spare them either.

"Certainly I hope the Eagles win," said Buglio. "If they should lose, I hope that the Chiefs just go down perfectly."

Buglio said he will be eating wings and enjoying the game with his friends and family when this occurs.

"I'm always a supporter of when our local hometown sports teams do fantastic," said Buglio.