BETHLEHEM, Pa. — The gale winds of breast cancer and winter blow equally harsh and cold.
Ordinarily, Sara Frassinelli might worry about her hair being tousled into a cotton candy mess as she heads to an appointment. But this appointment, for chemotherapy treatment, has eliminated that mild concern.
Frassinelli, 40, married and mother of 7-year-old son P.J., pulled a stocking cap over her bald head and walked from her car to the Lehigh Valley Topper Cancer Institute on South Cedar Crest Boulevard in her hometown of Allentown.
Hers is a walk short on steps but long on stress.
Frassinelli has made that walk since early November and will continue to make one day every three weeks through late February.
It's 3 1/2 hours resting uncomfortably comfortable in a cancer suite lounge chair, tethered to an IV pouring life-preserving but debilitating chemotherapy into her body, to arrest Stage 1 breast cancer discovered after a mammogram in June.
The disease is one for which her oncologist and surgeons advised and performed a double mastectomy in September — a disease that will, after a break to receive breast implants, also require radiation treatments once a day for 28 consecutive days.
Frassinelli is among about 240,000 women who are diagnosed with breast cancer each year. One in eight women will be so diagnosed in their lifetime.
As Frassinelli walked to her appointment, her thoughts ran the gamut — from fighting the disease, to prayers for survival, to its impact on her family.
During such uncertain times, one hurriedly sifts through all figurative pockets in search of loose change of strength.
As Frassinelli approached the hospital, she lifted her eyes to the facility adjacent to the cancer center — the Lehigh Valley Reilly Children’s Hospital.
And found that loose change.
“I look at that children’s hospital and think, ‘Thank God I’m the one with cancer,’” she said. “And I think, ‘If it was P.J., I don’t know what I’d do.’ I’d prefer I have it, not him.
“You find strength where you can.”
'Get your mammogram!'
Frassinelli has chosen to share her story to give strength and hope to others battling breast cancer and other cancers.
“If I can reach one person, if my story can help one person feel better and comfort them, that would be wonderful,” she said. “I have Stage 1 cancer. We caught it early. It saved my life.”
“You find strength where you can.”Sara Frassinelli, breast cancer patient, Allentown
According to the American College of Radiology, mammography has helped reduce breast cancer mortality in the U.S. by nearly 40% since 1990.
Added Frassinelli: “If I can say one thing to all the women who may read this, it’s this: Get your mammogram!”
'I'm sorry you have cancer'
One minute, life was perfect. She had a loving husband and terrific son. She was the director of marketing for Spherion Staffing & Recruiting, a brand of agencies that provides mainly light industrial and clerical staffing.
Her husband, Phillip, a Parkland High School graduate, owns and operates six of the franchise branches in eastern and central Pennsylvania, including its headquarters in Bethlehem.
Life was good. And then Frassinelli turned 40. Life took an unexpected turn.
In June, she had her first mammogram at the precise age recommended by the medical community to begin the annual examination.
Frassinelli was dutiful about beginning mammograms at that age because of her family history: her mother, Ruth Ann Graul, was diagnosed with breast cancer 15 years ago when she was in her mid-50s and had a double mastectomy.
“Initially, I thought I’d just have a lumpectomy,” Frassinelli said. “I had multiple ultrasounds and biopsies.
“But then I had an MRI that showed cancer on the right breast, but also it looked like it could be starting on the left breast.
“Based on mom’s history and my dense breast tissue, my surgeon, Dr. Lori Alfonse of Lehigh Valley Health Network, said I should have the double mastectomy. It’s all about saving lives.
"Mom started apologizing to me, saying, 'I'm sorry I have you cancer.' I had to tell her she didn't give me cancer."
What she likely gave her daughter was a blueprint of strength to carry on.
'How good that made me feel'
Frassinelli said she's encouraged by the five-year survival rate for Stage 1 breast cancer being 98-100%, according to the Susan G. Komen breast cancer research organization website.
However, the emotional and physical toll that recovery exacts cannot be understated — not only from the patient, but loved ones.
P.J. Frassinelli has his father’s personality but his mother’s emotional heart. A family can hide many things to protect their children. A mother losing her hair isn’t among them.
“So one night, we went to dinner. I said, ‘‘Mommy’s treatment medicine is going to make me bald.’ He said, ‘You’re going to be bald?’ I said, ‘Yes, bald.’ I thought he’d start crying.”Sara Frassinelli, breast cancer patient, Allentown
The Frassinellis explained to their young son about her cancer, the treatment, its effects, and, especially, that his mom will be OK in the end.
But how to explain her hair loss. How might the child receive that news? Might the boy see her differently? A numbing fear for a mother. Aspects of the disease not often noted in data about percentages and survival rates.
“P.J. knew I had surgery for cancer,” Frassinelli said. “Then he learned I had to have chemotherapy. But we were concerned about telling him I was going to lose my hair because of it.
“So one night, we went to dinner. I said, ‘‘Mommy’s treatment medicine is going to make me bald.’ He said, ‘You’re going to be bald?’ I said, ‘Yes, bald.’ I thought he’d start crying.”
Instead, P.J., a Cetronia Elementary School second-grader, dispensed the best kind of medicine his mom needed at that precise moment.
“He started laughing,” Frassinelli said. “I just can’t tell you how good that made me feel.”
'We're happy to help'
As Frassinelli stands strong at the forefront of her own cancer battle, she continues supporting others in their fight.
Spherion Staffing holds an annual community giveback program. The staff is asked to make a list of organizations near and dear to their heart to which they'd like the company to make a monetary donation.
Given Frassinelli's fight, they chose Cancer Support Community of the Greater Lehigh Valley. The company will donate $3,000 to the support group.
Even before receiving the donation, the organization learned of Frassinellli's plight and gifted her a wig. A cancer-fighting group extending help without expecting anything in return.
"I know there are so many other women dealing with this out there," Frassinelli said. "We're happy to help."
'A tougher cookie'
Frassinelli’s walk continues: Chemotherapy. Surgery for breast implants. Radiation. Immunotherapy infusions. Medications for as long as the next 10 years. Exhaustion. Prayers. Raising a family. Work. Unending support from family and friends. Staring down cancer until it slinks away.
“I’ve held up emotionally better than I thought,” she said. “The only way out is through, is basically what I’m reminding myself.
"I’ve had moments of ‘Why me? I’m only 40, I have a husband and a 7-year-old son, and I’m a good person.’ But once you get past that, you move forward. This is what I hope others in my kind of situation take from my story.”
Frassinelli fell silent for a moment, as if pulling up the collar of her coat to fend off breast cancer’s chill.
“Honestly, I didn’t know I had it in me,” she said. “I’m a tougher cookie than I thought.”
The gale winds of breast cancer and winter blow. A woman facing her greatest challenge walks to combat her foe.
But she'll never walk alone.
