BETHLEHEM, Pa. — A fatherless son’s words were borne out of longing.
Ten-year-old Connor Tomczak's four-word response about his hero firefighter father who was called to climb his final ladder far too soon was an unexpected yet awakening thunderclap that pierced the mournful silence.
There sat Tomczak between his older brother, Matthew, and widowed mother, Brittany, on the couch during a Fox & Friends national TV news program last week.
They are the family of the late Jeffrey Tomczak, 44, a former Allentown Fire Dept. fire marshal and retired Air Force master sergeant, who died in July after a 15-month battle with cancer.
In a moment, that awful reality would be nudged aside, albeit ever so briefly. The death of a husband and father rattles the foundation of a family’s soul, particularly when the passing is just three months removed; The wound, raw. The ache intense. The worry burdensome.
The Tomczaks were about to learn that the remaining mortgage on their home had been paid off by the Tunnel to Towers Foundation, a national organization that assists first responders and military veterans and their families in need.
Before that surprise news was delivered, the TV host asked Connor what he misses most about his father.
The boy’s response did not immediately come, perhaps stuck in a traffic jam of nerves and grief.
Then an opening. And the heart punch.
“I miss his hugs,” he said.
‘His sacrifice did this for you’
Tunnel to Towers founder and CEO Frank Siller sat beside Brittany Tomczak and delivered a figurative hug. He first celebrated her husband’s military service and as a firefighter in Allentown, Upper Gwynedd Township in Montgomery County where they reside, and in Mechanicsburg in central Pennsylvania.
“Your dad’s sacrifice took care of this for you."Frank Siller, founder and CEO, Tunnel to Towers Foundation
Siller then withdrew an envelope from the inside pocket of his sports coat.
“Today we have your paid mortgage,” he told Tomczak, who was overcome with emotion by the kind gesture. “We paid it off earlier yesterday.”
Siller then directed his comments to her sons.
“Your dad’s sacrifice took care of this for you,” he said. “All the years he put in serving our country and your community. This is his gift to you as a family. Your dad's sacrifice did this for you.”
Dream come true
Among Jeff Tomczak’s dreams for his family was to purchase his childhood home in Upper Gwynedd Township. That dream came true in 2014 when he and Brittany bought it from his parents.
“Jeff always wanted our boys to grow up in the neighborhood, the community we grew up in,” Tomczak said during a phone interview last week.
“This (mortgage payment) helps us be able to do that, and helps us stay financially secure. This is just amazing that (Tunnel to Towers) would do this for us. I just can’t thank them enough.”
Commitment to serve
Jeff Tomczak’s commitment to serve began in his teens.
At age 16, he joined the Upper Gwynedd Township Fire Company as a junior firefighter in 1996.
Tomczak’s calling to service continued. He enlisted in the Army after graduating from North Penn High School. He attended the Department of Defense Fire Academy in Texas. He then transitioned to the Army Reserves in 2000, and his unit was one of the first military firefighting units to support operations in Iraq, deploying to Baghdad in 2003. He became a career firefighter with the DOD in 2005.
Tomczak served his country on three overseas tours as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. He earned the title of Master Sergeant with the 177th Fighter Wing of the New Jersey Air National Guard, where he served as Assistant Fire Chief.
He spent over two decades there before being hired by the Allentown Fire Department from 2010 to 2023, serving as fire marshal and a member of its Technical Rescue and HAZMAT teams.
“Jeff just loved working with those people in Allentown,” Tomczak said. “And they loved him. When he got sick, many of them would often come to see him.”
‘Courting me from half a world away’
“I’m not sure where Jeff’s commitment to service came from,” Tomczak said. “But I knew about it early on after we met through mutual friends at the Upper Gwynedd Fire Department in 2003. I was 20 and he was turning 24.
“But we barely had a conversation and he was deployed to Iraq. We emailed back and forth, and he called when he could. He’d send me flowers and gifts. He was courting me from a half a world away.”
Before they were married in 2008, Tomczak bared his soul, basically giving his future wife a warning.
“He told me early on that this was who he was,” Brittany said. “I never once doubted that. And my fears for his safety were never great enough for me to ask him to stop. That’s just the kind of man Jeff was — a helper.”
A few years ago, when married friends were having difficulty conceiving, Brittany Tomczak offered to be their surrogate. Helping those in need is clearly a Tomczak trait.
‘It was incurable’
Given the amount of good to which Jeff Tomczak devoted his life — in his community, as a military member around the world, to his wife and sons — one might believe that his kind heart should make him immune to dark days.
“When doctors told us that, Jeff broke down immediately. This part of our life was not on our radar.”Brittany Tomczak
It wasn’t to be. In April 2023, he wasn’t feeling well. A tumor in his small intestine was detected. Surgery was performed.
“But by the time they discovered the tumor, the cancer — it was adenocarcinoma — had spread to his liver,” Tomczak said. “The surgeon — and I don’t know how he knew right away — told us it was the type of cancer there was no cure for at that point.
“When doctors told us that, Jeff broke down immediately. This part of our life was not on our radar.”
Tomczak was charged with taking care of her dying husband with the help of home hospice at the end and also worrying about how his terminal diagnosis would affect her boys.
“We initially told the boys Jeff had cancer,” she said. “They got it, but they didn’t fully understand it. They saw him decline over 15 months, but didn’t have the foresight of what would eventually happen.
“But they’ve handled it well. Jeff and I laughed and joked when he was sick. Sometimes the kids and I still do, to get through things. If you’re not laughing, you’re crying.”
Siller founded Tunnel to Towers to honor his younger brother, a New York City firefighter who gave his life on 9/11.
Tunnel to Towers pays off more than 200 mortgages a year, builds smart homes and addresses homelessness of veterans throughout America.
“We need to come together as Americans to help families like this whose family member paid the price to help others,” Siller said.
Unexpected hugs
A single mom with two young boys with a mortgage and all that goes with raising a family could be overwhelming. The worry can be paralyzing. The stress fraying to near breaking.
But then a family turns a dark corner into warm sunlight. First a firefighting colleague of Tomczak’s from Upper Gwynedd nominates the family for the Tunnel to Towers gift.
Then a trip to New York City, where the good deeds of a loving, giving man are repaid in full by total strangers.
Sometimes, the most comforting hugs come from the most unexpected arms.
To donate to Tunnel to Towers, go to www.t2t.org/donate.
